Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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