My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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