Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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