She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
