No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Pooping to opera.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
