Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
