She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize