you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
