no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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