Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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