Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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