somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
