Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
