life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
