Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dual....:-)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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