Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
