My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
