never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
