It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
