Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize