So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
