what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
