i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He better not be in your backpack
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
