We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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