Sry I called you an 8
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
