There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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