there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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