SEEEEXXX PLEASE
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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