He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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