I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
