omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
