dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Nobody cheats on THIS.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
