Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
