Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
