Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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