Don't you send me to vm
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
