i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
