I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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