Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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