I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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