We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
