My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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