I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize