I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
