Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
