their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
