we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
