Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
