Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
