Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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