Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
