yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hippo gnu deer
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
