K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Damn victory sex feels great
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
