Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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