I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.