apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
