dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
