it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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