I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
