Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
