coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
