Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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