She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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